A bowl of fruit: an exercise in acceptance

Imagine a bowl a fruit…. What would you put in it?

• oranges

• a pear;

• a banana;

• an apple;

• a bunch of grapes.

Now imagine, finding one bad grape in the bowl. What would you do?

You’d probably pick the bad grape and throw it away, right?

So, why in life, would you throw your whole self out of the bowl when one thing goes bad?

Rejection happens in two parts.  The first part is the event.  For example, a job application gets declined.  The second part is the story or meaning we attach to it.

“I am not good enough.”

“I am a loser.”

“This always happens to me.”

The first part can sting.  The second part can wound. The event may be outside your control.   The story rarely is.

Rejection is painful.  But it is not proof. Avoid over-generalisations of specific weaknesses. Avoid global ratings such as “failure, “worthless”, - accept yourself as a fallible ever-changing human being.

Failure doesn’t mean we’re a failure.  Defining failure in global and stable terms rather than in situational and specific terms changes our perceptions of both ourselves and those areas in which we failed.

The secret of self-acceptance is to stop seeing ourselves as a single entity.  When we're self-accepting, we're able to embrace all aspects of ourselves - not just the positive, more 'esteem-able' parts.

Do you not agree that you are more complex than a bowl of fruit?