About me

About me

My name’s Ben. I am an integrative counsellor-coach based in North London with a background in mental health. I am interested in people. I believe everyone has a story to tell. But, we do more than tell our story, we live it, and when we cannot tell our story, our story tells us. It is important not to allow the narrative of what has happened to us over the years take precedence over our responsibility to address it today.

I believe counselling is best thought as a gesture of self-worth towards yourself. That said, it is no easy undertaking. I present it as a form of positive challenge. Like going to the gym, it requires consistency and effort.

Talking offers the opportunity to make sense of things and to put things into perspective.  It is also a way of rediscovering yourself.  Ask yourself, what do you need to relearn?  (A lot of learning is unlearning). The trouble with talking is that it can you help you feel better. But you don’t necessarily get better. Self-awareness in of itself is sometimes not enough. You have to back it up with action. That’s where coaching can come in. Turning self-awareness into action. Remember, therapy is not a substitute for life, it’s a dress rehearsal for it!

My own desire to help people was sparked by my own experiences. Looking back, my journey out of depression wasn’t suffering alone; it was also an amazing opportunity to learn, and it set me on this path. Nowadays, I’ve now come to see my past as my biggest asset.

I have over eight years’ experience working within mental health.  I previously held roles at Mind and worked as a Tutor in a mental health recovery college.

Similarly, I have over three years’ experience working with young people (aged 16+) in an educational setting.

Lastly, in terms of my own self-care, I enjoy running. I find it helps empty my head and allows others thoughts to come in. I take breaks at Easter, during the summer and at Christmas to recharge.

How I work

My starting point is always you. What do you want from life?  Core to my approach is building a strong therapeutic relationship. 

Working in an integrative way means I combine different tools and techniques from different approaches.  It gives me greater flexibility to adapt my approach to meet your preferences and needs.  Both 'being' and 'doing' are important in therapy.  For example, people need different things at different points.  Someone who has a clear expressed goal for therapy might benefit from a more proactive approach whereas someone who has an emerging awareness may want to use the space to explore their feelings and desires.

I am grounded in person-centred and existential theory. In my work, I try to balance two crucial elements: 1) existence and 2) acceptance.  I acknowledge confronting reality can be difficult when it's painful; I try to create a safe space to help you think things through and discover your own answers.  Pain is transformed when it is accepted.

We can only build the life we want on a firm foundation of safety and security. The past can a strong platform on which we can stand as we confidently face the future, or a prison from which we feel we can never escape.  The irony is sometimes we have to go back to go forwards. To repeat is human. To reframe is healthy.

In terms of the therapy, you set the pace.  You are responsible for the content, and I am responsible for managing the process.  The work is collaborative in nature.  That said, you are going to have to most of the hard psychological lifting!  But I will be there to support you every step of the way.

I am particularly interested in managing life transitions. No-one like changes. But the only thing in life that doesn’t change is change itself!

Lastly, as an accredited member of BACP, I am bound to the Ethical Framework of Counsellors and Psychotherapy and I am subject to its complaints procedure.